Task Force Hunie: The Unlikely Heroes
by Jacky the Serket
Summary: Dunno what I'm doing with this, but this'll basically be a fic I write for fun. Follow the adventures of Kyu, Nikki, Audrey and Tiffany as they go out under the guise of secret agents, working for the goddess of love to help get the world out of whatever shit it managed to get itself into. yeah, it's a weird idea, but oh well. Quality may vary. Rated T to M for questionable content
1. The Recluse

Today was a normal, boring day in the middle of Who-Gives-A-Fuck. Honestly, Nikki didn't know why she still stayed in this town. Probably because her dead end coffee job didn't give her much to do, and if she spent too much time outside either she'd die due to forced social interaction or her laptop and phone would die because she's using them to avoid the average everyday populace. It was annoying, to say the least. She wished she could do something. Maybe she should pick up a hobby...game design seemed like a pretty fun idea… 

Though until she got off her lazy ass to download some program and teach herself how to do it, Nikki was sitting on her couch and watching the same youtube video she had watched...what, about a week ago? Her life practically consisted of about five different youtube videos, if she wasn't playing video games or watching some explicit content every now and then. She didn't do that often, though. Only when the mood really struck her.

While she was watching some dude freak out over a really poorly made horror game, Nikki heard a knock at her apartment door over all the noise coming from her headphone. She frowned and turned the volume up. She had hoped to block out the noise, but the knocks came once again, at the same volume as last time. What the hell?

Nikki took her headphones off and sighed as she glanced to the door, which was only a few feet away from her. She stood up and looked through the peephole in the door. "Who is it?"

Through the peephole she saw a familiar looking face, though one she only met a little while after she realized Alex was cheating on her, along with, like, every girl in town. It was a familiar girl with pink pigtails, big butterfly-looking wings and an outfit that made her panties clearly showing. Not the thing she really wanted to see at her door.

"Nikki. It's me, Kyu. If you could stop beating off to video games and answer your door that'd be nice. I want to have a talk with you."

"Go away," Nikki spoke as she turned away from the door and walked from it, rolling her eyes as she settled back on the couch. It wasn't a comfy couch. It stopped being comfy after her first month in the apartment. This entire place was crappy... "I don't want to talk to you."

"Oh, come on, Nikki. Just let me in!" Even while Nikki put her headphones on to block out the noise, she could still hear Kyu in her mind. What was going on here? Was Kyu in her head, or was she just really fucking loud? Either way it was getting annoying.

"No, go away. I don't care what you want."

"Don't be so harsh, girl. I never did anything to you."

"Weren't you the one that convinced Alex to cheat on me?"

"And, like, everyone else in this town, sweetheart. It's less of a problem on me and it's more of a problem with you or Alex at that point."

"Man, that really makes me want to let you in." Nikki rolled her eyes. "Get lost, pixie."

She heard a sigh which was then followed by complete silence. Nikki raised an eyebrow slightly before shrugging, just happy that all of the noise was gone. Now hopefully she can get back to watching stupid horror games and-

CRASH!

Nikki's eyes widened and she stood up from her couch just to see a fairy bust through her door completely. It wasn't even that she broke the lock and forced the door open, she just rammed a hole into the door! Bits of wood and splinters were scattered about the apartment and Nikki put her arms in front of her to protect herself from harmful debris.

"Gosh, I hate doing that," Kyu muttered as she rubbed her hand against her exposed shoulder, frowning lightly. Meanwhile, the blue haired girl who owned the house angrily ripped the headphones off her ears and stood up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Uh, getting into your house? What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you just bust my doorway into pieces!"

"Oh, that? I do that all the time, girl. This isn't anything to get upset about."

"Yes, it is. My door's ruined! I'm going to have to pay for that now!"

"No you don't." Kyu brought her hand up and snapped her fingers. The chunks and splinters of wood slowly levitated into the air before rushing towards the doorway and putting them back together. Once there, they would settle and make the door once more, looking like nothing had happened to it. "See? Problem solved."

"Well, in that case, how about you use that door you just made and get out of my apartment. I don't want you here."

"But I want you, Nikki." Kyu chuckled. "Not in a gross way, though, don't worry about that."

"Good. There's no way that you're my type anyways, so no chance there."

"Trust me, blue brain, I wouldn't want to tap that with a ten foot pole." Kyu rolled her eyes before placing a hand on her hip. "Look, let's stop the back and forth, huh? I wanted to ask you to do something."

"Because you're making such a good case for me to help you, aren't you?" Nikki rolled her eyes as well as she plopped onto the couch. "What's it even about?"

"I mean, I can't actually tell you what I want you to do. At least, not until I get some other people on board with it, but after that I can totally tell you."

"Man, that fills me up with so much confidence." Nikki shook her head and pushed her glasses further up her face. "You can't tell me anything about what you want me to do? Not a single thing?"

"Weeeell...I can tell you that you're going to be spending time on that computer. A lot of time, actually." Kyu plopped herself down on the couch next to Nikki and draped an arm over her shoulders, which she quickly pushed off with lots of force.

"You want me to do something where I stay on the computer all day? You trying to make me a camgirl or something, Kyu? Because that's not happening."

Kyu let out a laugh and shook her head. "No, no. I don't want you being a cam girl, let me tell you. That'd just be silly. No, I want you to do some actual things on the computer. Like, some cool...techy stuff."

"Techy stuff, huh? What kind of techy stuff?"

"Like, you know, searching things up, looking into people...that kind of thing?"

"So...you want me to be a walking search engine?"

"When you put it like that, Nikki, it really makes your job sound not as important."

"Forget it, I'm not going to be your assistant."

"No, no, Nikki, listen!" Kyu grabbed Nikki by the shoulders and forced her to stare at her, though Nikki tried to resist the fairy's grip. Oh, look, Kyu had a few splinters stuck in her hair. Guess she didn't fix the doorway completely. "I can't tell you everything that you're going to be doing with me, but I'm reaching out to you because of how good you are with computers. None of the other bimbos in this town know how to use a computer like you do. I bet they think that System 32 is some kind of video game or something."

Nikki winced at that and shook her head. "I mean, I guess I know a lot about computers." She frowned, but as she spoke she could see a small grin grow on Kyu's face. She narrowed her eyes. "But why should I help you? What have you ever done for me?"

"Uh, got you laid?"

"And then Alex broke up with me!"

"Look, Nikki, that's better than what you would've gotten on your own, okay. If I hadn't told Alex to go for you you'd still be some loser virgin hanging out in your apartment."

"Well maybe I like it like that."

"Nikki, no one likes it like that." Kyu shook her head before leaning in closer to Nikki, their faces a little uncomfortably close. "Listen, Blue Brain, weren't you just talking about how you wanted to have something fun to happen? Something exciting? Something besides sitting around and watching a couple youtube videos?"

"Um, I mean I guess, but-Wait, I never said that."

"You were thinking it. It's practically the same thing. I hear both." Kyu shrugged. "But look, this could be your chance, Nikki! Because what I got in store for you is actually going to be fun. It's going to be something exciting. It's going to be something unique! You're going to love it, trust me!"

"And if I don't love it, what'll I get instead? I want something for putting effort into...whatever it is we're doing."

"Well, it depends. I either get you laid again or I give you that one stupid vintage video game you're looking for."

"...any of the ones that I'm looking for?"

"Yeah, sure, if it means that you'll come with me."

"Alright, I'm in."

Kyu blinked and tilted her head to the side, giving Nikki a slightly confused look. "That was easier than I expected."

"Oh, I'm going to give you hell to get the game that I want," Nikki said with a sly grin, Kyu slowly letting go of the girl's shoulders as the bluenette closed her laptop. "Are we going somewhere right now, or…?"

"Yeah, we're heading out, so…pack up your computer, your phone, and everything else that you need. We're going to be out in town for a little while so just pack...whatever a nerd needs to survive." Kyu was already checking off a mental checklist, excited that she was starting to get things off the ground.

"Right, I'm on it." Nikki rose up from the couch and made her way towards her bedroom. "Where are we going, anyways?"

"We're going to the mall! There's two more people that I want to find, and I know for a fact one of them will be at the mall!"


	2. The Megabitch

The mall was as loud as ever. Loud and bustling and full of people. To them, Kyu stood out...a lot. That's what happens when you're waltzing through town with a dress that clearly showed off your undies. Kyu didn't care much, though. She loved all of the extra attention she was getting. Wandering eyes and nosebleeds weren't something that she was new to. Not even cops tried to stop her scantily clad self as she strutted through the mall.

Nikki, however, was hating the extra attention she was getting, and was currently hunched over as she shouldered her backpack around, hating the feeling of so many eyes being attracted to Kyu, and by association to Nikki. This was probably the most attention she had on her at one time…

"You don't seem too happy, Nikki." Kyu shot a grin back at the bluenette before moving along. "Can't handle a little bit of attention, can you?"

"No, I can't. You know I hate being the center of attention." Nikki rolled her eyes as she continued moving, rather deadpanned as she followed Kyu on her commute through the mall. "And where exactly are we going to here? You didn't take us here just to shop, right? I've already been used to carry shopping bags once…"

"No, we're not shopping. I'm just looking for one place in particular…" Kyu glanced over the mall, a hand over her chin as she examined the surrounding stores intently. Eventually she snapped her fingers, in a very visible snap, and pointed to the other side of the mall. "All the way over there."

Nikki frowned and squinted, soon after realizing that she should get a new prescription. After she had squinted, she noticed that Kyu was pointing at the one dojo in the mall. Hyun's Dojo, it read. Nikki never bothered going in there before, but she heard it was pretty good for a mall dojo.

"What? Are you going to teach me how to fight or something?"

"Don't insult me, Blue Brain. I know a lost cause when I see one. Anyways, I just want to go into the dojo. Now follow me. We don't got a lot of time to waste here, and it's best if we just get a move on."

Kyu then set off at startling speeds and Nikki tried her best to catch up to her. She tried speed walking to catch up, but she was quickly being left behind by Kyu, who was still seemingly just walking. Nikki had to break into a full on sprint to keep up with her. Within a few seconds the two were in the dojo.

Most of the dojo was filled with...well, not a lot. It seemed like most of the people had gone home, which made a lot of sense considering it was a saturday afternoon and, well, it was the mall. Most people would rather be shopping, and Nikki doubted all that noise helped with doing karate.

There were only a few people in the middle of the dojo and actually using it, however. Most of them were young guys who seemed like they were trying to learn karate to act tough. On occasion there was one guy who actually seemed to know what they were doing and were beating the crap out of some poor dummy, but those weren't the ones that caught Nikki's eye. What caught her eye was the redhead in the middle of the room who was currently beating the crap out of some sparring partner.

"Is that...Audrey?" Nikki asked with a frown as she crossed her arms over her chest, admiring Audrey's prowess as she delivered a kick to her sparring buddy's side. "I didn't know she knew karate."

"Oh, she started learning it about, uh...six months ago." Kyu said with a grin as she kept her eyes on Audrey. "You know, when you all figured out Alex was cheating on you? After you and like ten others ran the two timer out of town, Audrey needed a way to really get rid of her anger. So she took some lessons at the dojo."

"And how did you know this?"

"Oh, I've been keeping tabs on all the girls that Alex has dated. I mean, Alex is my best project yet. I need to keep a track of all the sucker-I mean girls that were dragged in."

"Right...that's not creepy at all." Nikki sighed as she leaned against a nearby wall as she watched Audrey perform more complex martial arts techniques. Wait, was that actually karate? She couldn't tell. "And why do we need her?"

"You'll find out later." Kyu grinned and walked towards the redheaded megabitch, leaving Nikki behind and not bothering to tell her to not get too close.

Just as Audrey's partner stumbled back, seemingly having enough of getting beaten by the redhead, Kyu approached Audrey from behind and grabbed her shoulder. Audrey grabbed Kyu's arm and threw the fairy over her shoulder, slamming her back into the padded ground. Kyu didn't even seem phased as she was slammed into the ground, and simply grinned up at Audrey, who made a face as soon as she processed who she flipped.

"Oh, it's you," Audrey muttered as she crossed her arms, not bothering to offer a hand to help Kyu up. "What the hell are you doing here, Sugarslut?"

"Nice to see you too, megabitch." Kyu giggled as she was suddenly up on her feet, clearly teleporting to a standing position. She grinned and put both hands on her hips. "You know, it wasn't that hard to find you. Just had to follow the smell of bitch."

"Did you come here to get socked in the mouth? Because you're really heading towards that right now."

"No, no. I'm here to ask you to do something for me. You see, I know how good you are at fighting, and I fought I could give you a chance to really use what you learned. In a real fight." Kyu talked quieter than before, making sure that Nikki wasn't going to hear her, and she even leaned closer to Audrey so that only she could hear it.

"What? You want me to join a fight club or something?" Audrey took a step back and shook her head. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would I do something like that?"

"I mean, you seem to like beating the shit out of people. I thought you'd like a chance at doing that. Just make it a bit more real, so you don't have to fight all these...wimps. Let's face it, girl, you're better than these losers."

"I know I am. I don't even know why I come here anymore." She shook her head and sighed. "How are you plan on getting me better fights? I mean, last time I checked, beating the shit out of someone is illegal. If it's not, then I really have to find Alex again."

"Oh, but you see, I have a plan. A plan that involves me, you, her," she gestured towards a Nikki who was staring at her phone, "and one other girl, and once we get that plan started, we're all going to have lots of fun."

"Lots of fun, huh? And by that you mean that I get to beat people up." Audrey frowned and slowly nodded. "Though, I don't see why I'd go along with you…"

"Oh, come on, Audrey. You know that eventually this place isn't going to satisfy you." Kyu took a step closer and trailed a finger across the girl's cheek, only for Audrey to grab her arm and force it away. "You know that you won't be able to let go of your anger if you can't hold back. I can give you a time where you don't have to hold back. Where you can go all out on a bunch of scrubs."

"Huh...you have a...compelling argument." Audrey frowned even further and glanced up at the sky, closing her eyes slowly. "As long as I don't get involved in anything too weird, then I'm in."

"Yes!" Kyu pumped her fist into the air and let out a celebratory woo hoo before pulling a small, phone looking device out of her pocket and tapping on the screen a couple of times. "Now, I just got one more place to go, and one more person to grab, then we're on our way. Go get yourself acquainted with Nikki. I gotta do something."

"Sure, whatever." Audrey shook her head as she walked over to the blue haired girl. Kyu couldn't help but smile widely. Everything was going according to plan, and she could already hear the nerd and the megabitch getting along. Now she just needed one more person to tag along. Hopefully they all got along well…


End file.
